If you don't like rants leave. If you've heard this already (Tiger-san and Lil, that'd be you) leave. If the word fuck offends you, leave.

I'm such a fucking IDIOT. Anyone who's been following this story since day one a year ago, don't laugh at me. I made a big fucking mistake.

No. Dustin was not a mistake. It was the best almost-a-year of my life; giving him all of my love - all of it, people - and backing it up with all of my trust - of which there was much to give; barely anyone else has it - was the mistake. He's only human. Why did I think I'd found my soulmate? Why did I think he wouldn't go off and leave me?

... Oh yeah, that's right. He told me he wouldn't. Hah.

But it still manages to piss me off. I went through SO FUCKING MUCH for him. It hurt more than it didn't, I think sometimes... all his abscences on top of his mom's ever-increasing loathe for Yours Truly. And still I stuck with. FOR SHIT. For all my patience, for all my reassurance, for all I've done for him, for all I'd do for him, and for anything I will do for him in the future... I get nothing but a name. DaraLynn. Good ol' DaraLynn... brown hair, nice, and pretty. His age, I'm betting, and she lives near him.

Well good for DaraLynn.

I'm happy for her. I'm happy she got such an amazing person. I'm happy for Dustin. I'm happy he found someone he can really snuggle up to.

I'm so happy for them, in fact, that I could just kill myself.

Lil says it could be rebound, Dustin tells me he isn't coming back. Me? Well hell, after this experience I'm not likely to become involved with anyone for a good long time. If ever. Laugh at me, go ahead. I'm dead serious.

"You're a lifetime commitment, Vanessa." Are you dead yet, Dustin?

End ... For now.